How does it feel? To be on your own. A complete unknown. Like a rolling stone

How does it feel? To be on your own. A complete unknown. Like a rolling stone

So the past couple days have rocked. Last night was the christmas party for work. We all went to the bowling alley. It was super fun. and all im gonna say about that is Cynthia's "happy drink" made it all soooo much better. Just as we were getting done with bowling my dad and Liz showed up. There visitng for a couple days. Then we all went to dinner at Uno's, and Amanda came with us.


OHHHHH we wrote JT Tree. Well like half of it. Its funny as hell too. I'll post that once its finished. I also have two songs im pretty much done with but I dont have the courage to post them up here yet.

Anyways. I've learned quite a few things about myself recently. Some are good, some are bad". But either way, its still a good thing in my opinion. Because realizing the bad aspects of myself lets me know what I need to work on in my life.


So. Theres a fucking hurricane outside. I thought i'd just let everyone know that.

"So fragile and thin, standing trial for your sins, holding onto your self the best you can..."

She's shaking in the car with the gun in her hand...

so this evening was interesting. and since myspace is being a whore, I have to post here. So LOTS of drunkeness occured. LOTS of chain smoking. Why? because we wanted to party...and while im on vacation I GOT INTO A FUCKING CAR ACCIDENT. My front bummper cover is in Peters truck. fucking ridiculous. Sooo. to entertain you all, here is a teaser. It was a halloween party, hence the dresssing up. 

wasted fun....we took entirely tooo many pictures. MORE to come. Enjoy. <3

Leftovers and board games

So I wrote my first song. Its definatly a work in progress. But im really proud of myself that I did it. So here it is. Tell me what you all think. Honest opinions only!

I understand people need time to work out their own things

But does that mean, that you have to tear down those walls?

Those old walls that took so long too build.

Do you know what its like, to be dropped like your nothing?

To be left here to wonder why

What went wrong. And how you should feel

I feel like an old board game

That you just bring out on a rainy day

Something with little meaning, but brings entertainment on a boring day

Well I'm sorry to say, but I'm not your candy land anymore

And as I look back

I think about all the things we did, and all those things you said

The late nights, the long drives home

Watching those yellow tags in the road became my therapy

How I cherish those Wallace and gromit nights, and those windy roads

Did you mean it when you said

That these past six months had been the best

And that you were glad you had me in your life?

You say dinner is for friends, but leftovers is love

Well welcome to a life of dinners

And far less left-over mornings

I feel like an old board game

That you just bring out on a rainy day

Something with little meaning, but brings entertainment on a boring day

Well I'm sorry to say, but I'm not your candy land anymore

Picking myself off the ground

Putting back the pieces of my heart

But desperately hanging onto the hope

…of you

sorry for the long entry, but its important

Livejournal entry

So I could be totally over thinking this, but I think Nick is breaking up with me. Or something is wrong, with his family or something, and he wont talk to me.

So Sunday, everything was fine. I went over to his house, and everything was perfect. Monday we didn’t really get to see each other, and he seemed a little distracted, but nothing major. Mondays are big school days for him, so hes always busy. No big deal. So Monday night came around, and he sent me a text saying he had just gotten off of work and that he was tired and going to bed. He also said he wished this day would “fucking end”. Again, no big deal. But then I got nothing from him yesterday. I sent him a text about postcards, hoping to cheer him up, because we all know how much he loves postcards, and I get nothing. Figuring he didn’t get the message, I sent him one asking him how he was. I get . “Alright, you?”. I reply, and again, no response. So I sent him a message saying I was going to bed and I was worried about him, and (hoping for some indication that everything was fine I get), “Alright.goodnight”. So after this morning after like 2 text messages he says that he wont be able to call me today because hes busy. I get that. Totally. I JUST WANT SOME SORT OF MESSAGE SAYING EVERYTHING IS OKAY. Or not okay, just some message!!!! I’ve asked him if everything was okay like 4 times now, and he has ignored every single one of them. I totally get if he is busy, or if something is wrong and he just doesn’t want to talk to me, that’s fine too. BUT TELL ME. All I need is some sort of indication whether or not he’s okay. But of course I got nothing. Because the last time I had a boyfriend do this to me, he broke up with me. And even if Nick and I are really busy we’ll call each other and just talk for like 2 minutes or so. Just to say hi. So I sent him a text message saying that when he got out of class @ 3.15 I’d be free if he felt like talking. So far its 4pm and haven’t heard anything. But I’m not going to call him, I’ve made much effort to contact him, and its quite apparent he doesn’t want to talk with me, so I’ll wait for him to call me. And I guess if he doesn’t call me by next Tuesday, when I get home, I’ll call his mom to see what’s up.

But I hope to god I don’t have to wait that long because its killing me not knowing what’s going on. Whether or not he still wants to be with me, or maybe a close family member is sick, or whatever. And it probably doesn’t help that all I have been doing on the trip is watching televsion shows with tons of breakups. Like seriously, are they trying to kill me? I think Rory and Logan broke up like 4 times in like 6 episodes. Crazyness.


I'm still in shock.

SYDNEY, Australia (CNN) -- Steve Irwin, the Australian TV presenter known as the "Crocodile Hunter," has died after being stung in a marine accident off Australia's north coast.

Australian media reports say Irwin was diving in waters off Port Douglas, north of Cairns, when the incident happened on Monday morning.

Irwin, 44 was killed by a stingray barb that went through his chest, according to Cairns police sources. Irwin was filming an underwater documentary at the time.

Ambulance officers confirmed they attended a reef fatality Monday morning off Port Douglas, according to Australian media.

Queensland Police Services also confirmed Irwin's death and said his family had been notified. Irwin was director of the Australian Zoo in Queensland.

He is survived by his American-born wife Terri and their two children, Bindi Sue, born 1998, and Robert (Bob), born December 2003.

Irwin became a popular figure on Australian and international television through Irwin's close handling of wildlife, most notably the capture and relocation of crocodiles.

Irwin's enthusiastic approach to nature conservation and the environment won him a global following. He was known for his exuberance and use of the catch phrase "Crikey!"

But his image suffered a setback in January 2004 when he held his then 1-month-old baby Bob while feeding a crocodile at his Australian zoo. (Full story)

In a statement released to Australian media, Foreign Minister Alexander Downer expressed his sorrow and said that he was fond of Irwin and was very appreciative of all the work he had done in promoting Australia overseas.

In 2003, Irwin spoke to the Australian Broadcasting Corp.'s Australian Story television program about how he was perceived in his home country.

"When I see what's happened all over the world, they're looking at me as this very popular, wildlife warrior Australian bloke," he said, the ABC reported.

"And yet back here in my own country, some people find me a little bit embarrassing. "You know, there's this... they kind of cringe, you know, 'cause I'm coming out with 'Crikey' and 'Look at this beauty'."

If heaven and hell decide that they both are satisfied...

So it seems that I havent updated in awhile. So for those of you that care, here is my update.

Chuck Klosterman is a fucking god. I am now convinced of this. His writing is hilarious and just all around AMAZING.

I have been reading far too much.

Our backyard actually looks like a backyard. Its sooo nice. I will soon be living out there because its just so damn peaceful.

I went to my first pop concert last night. American Idol. My mom wanted me to go with her so I went. Lots of screaming 8 year old years. and then a giant pop tart tried to take my chicken. and then wanted to hug me. I will never be the same.

School is going well. Very well actually.

Me and Nicks six months is today. So thats pretty cool.

Sat im going to TWO shows. NFG in oakland and then CUTE is SF.

.......I want to get drunk this weekend. Anyone care to join me?

(no subject)

Okay so I spent the night at nicks house last night. His mom and sister were gone so it was just the two of us. I was so tired though. We started off watching the rock.Hella good movie. The we moved to his room to go to bed. I ended up in my underwear and short shorts...nothng else. And he was in his boxers. I was so suprised how comfortable I was with him. I always imagined it would be kinda awkward, but here I was lying topless totally and completly comfortable about it. Lying their with him was so perfect. It was so perfect it scared me. This has opened up new doors for me. I wanted so bad to explore his body but for some reason I hold back. and I dont know why. I just dont know what to do, or how to at and I kinda freak out. Its uncharted territory for me. " " Another thing is we finally said I love you to each other aloud. I mean he first said it to me a couple weeks ago, but last night was the first time we had spoken it. Really made it seem more real. He is just so amazing. So perfect. I never want to stop feeling like this.

(no subject)

Well once again, right before a trip, my phone decided to be an asshole.

Now instead of not being able to press some keys, it adds things. Like that is now thyatj. and its fucking annoying!

So if this thing officially dies, call me @ 925-628-9150